As one of the foundation stones for my coaching is for the coachee to complete a Balance of Life Wheel of 8 segments which are totally the coachees choice with family and me time being regular contributors. When these segments are scored between one and ten family scores well even when the coachee is very busy whilst me time generally scores poorly.
Even thought family scores well most extended families have situations which can impact our balance of life. Probably the most common occurrence affecting the busy executive is not being there for the family when they are actually with them, as they are mentally still at work. Recharging the batteries both physically and mentally is vitally important to the busy coachee too.
I am not busy in the above terms, but I do like to be fully occupied whether it is coaching, supervision of coaches or other community projects. When it gets to around teatime, however I often crash out and as my Jo says, I watch too much tele! Of course, she is right, with my combination of sport and drama series. Last Friday I crashed out all day after catching a heavy cold. Is that OK, of course it is, but I still don’t feel quite right about doing it. Whether it is coaching, or work that you do it is important to look after yourself first.
For somebody whose favourite film was 4 Weddings and a Funeral, to be watching the trilogy of the Godfather (after being intrigued by the Sopranos more recently) is I suppose a little unusual. In the Godfather Michael, got sucked into the family’s business bringing his emotional intelligence into play. Instead of being hot headed and greedy like his brother, he added strategy to the whole business whilst trying to be legit but ultimately failing.
What is intriguing to me is when family is so important yet violence, revenge, so called honour, greed, power are so endemic. Vendettas are the name of the game. Our holiday destination last year, Sicily, was so dominant in this period of history for these insane practices. How much has changed today with family feuds, corruption and greed for power? Look at the world: Putin (war), Trump (economic war) and China (massive investment over decades in many impoverished countries). I suggest don’t watch the news each day it is outside your control!
Ricky Gervais – After Life is another series which isn’t politically correct, but if you reframe the main messages there are many good lessons including
- Apologise first
- You don’t have to be right
- Try and make a difference in your corner of the world
- Plant trees for others to have the shade in future years
- Listen to people acutely
- Keep confidentiality
- Change yourself – you can’t change the world
- Hope is everything
- Try and make the world a better place
I am now focusing on the US sitcom Frazier when I am at the gym. I still find it funny even though I am only watching subtitles and of course it helps me do my limited exercise without really noticing.
So, ME time is important just as family time is important too. In stretching times at work, how do you switch off to purely focus on your family? These underlying topics come up a lot in coaching. Why are we working in the first place other than to look after and enjoy our families? If you need to get things off your chest, to help you move forward in your life and maybe work out a different formula, get in touch with neil@nvwsolutions.co.uk
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