What do you see when you look in a mirror? I see my brother Don who was 12 years older than me. After exploring the different phases of life in last month’s edition of Meaningful Moments, I saw an article about the unstoppable move into older age and a meditation on the best ways to manage and come to terms with it – the subject of Roger Clough’s new book OLDENLAND: A journey in search of the last good years.
I often ask when does old age start and as each birthday comes and goes, the age of old age is pushed further and further away. Clough wants to know , is how to thrive in old age – balancing the practicalities of daily life, diet, exercise, adaptations – guidance as to how to obtain a balance between busyness and relaxation, reflection and the setting in order of his house.
Clough agrees that writing about old age – not to mention living it – is a slippery subject it will be interesting to see how many unsubscribes arise out of this taboo subject!. “We have a whole concept of ageing, which is partly to deny that it is happening. The goalposts of old age are everchanging in our 60’s and 70’s – an acknowledgement of years lived – but will challenge any idea that we are old with the stereotypical assumption of failing capacity and competence.”
Members of my walking group are getting older with a few more falls occurring particularly in the mud of winter. So more walkers are “having a fall” rather than merely “falling over” which is what younger people do. Rarely do we accept this though! (Minnie, our dog, pulled me over etc!!) “Having a fall” feels like something is being done to you; I am out of control of my body.
Clough says ageing is an important time of life for living, not necessarily doing or accomplishing or even going round the world. It’s not about success. It’s a time to live to the full with who and what I am, alongside the realisation I am not going to go on forever.
As you can tell I am starting to explore some of the above aspects myself as I have always needed to be busy and doing things. I have been given many suggestions from friends including Bridge, photography, writing books, jigsaws; none of which fit my own personal formula. So far, I enjoy my charity work, coaching and supervision, being involved in the local community, and even going back to the gym when I have time. I am still looking for something else. If you are on a similar journey, get in touch with neil@nvwsolutions.co.uk
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