Following on from my previous Meaningful Moments newsletters I, with my coachees agreement, thought I would share with you, his experience and emotions. (Something us blokes very rarely open up on)
After 40 odd years running IT Support services within the Finance industry, I retired in 2019 at the age of 59. I had enjoyed a rewarding career but simply felt as though I had had enough. I had divorced 3 years earlier and had met a new partner and decided to “start afresh”.
I fully admit I had done little to no preparation for “retirement” and naively thought that simply keeping fit and perhaps taking up golf would fully occupy me and keep the grey cells active.
My partner, a little younger than myself, wasn’t yet ready for retirement but had employment that afforded flexible working hours, so it seemed the way forward looked bright and encouraging.
How foolish!
Timing wasn’t great as the nightmare of Covid rained down upon us kicking any real semblance of normality into touch for the best part of 3 years.
So along with millions of others the expectations of the near future had to be managed differently – alternative approaches to many aspects of day-to-day life having to be adopted.
However, as we came out of the worst of the dark days and had the opportunity to return to a better state it became clear to me that although I had a few “interests” – there appeared to be a significant void in my life – leaving me confused and frustrated as to what on earth to do with myself.
My partner and I had jointly purchased a new home together in early 2021 and that for some months provided a temporary sense of focus and enthusiasm for me as we progressively turned the new purchase into “our house” decorating and refurbishing room by room. However, as 2022 rolled around it hit me quite hard that I was ill prepared for the (hopefully) potential 20 to 30 years of non-working life ahead of me.
I am a regular gym goer but a shoulder injury has made for at least a while yet, the suspension of any further golf. I enjoy the cinema and regularly catch up on new releases, am fortunate enough to still have both my parents and regularly meet up with my daughter and my stepson from my previous marriage. But that felt like only 50% of my time was being occupied and I was drifting around looking for the missing elements to fill the gap. I (very) briefly considered returning to full time employment, but the passion had gone and the 24×7 nature of the managerial support roles I had performed had left me depleted. So, what should I do?
It was at this point I sought out Neil at NVW Solutions.
I wanted some guidance and advice from a professional with the life experience and maturity to assist me in the challenge of achieving a fulfilling and stimulating “Third Age” of my life.
At our initial “consultation” meeting I was encouraged by Neil’s pragmatic and amicable style in the discussion of my situation and potential options.
His methodology avoided prescriptive type solutions of “just do this, take up that as a hobby, join that type of club” directions.
Instead, we discussed my interests, passions, family circumstances and what essentially constituted the key focal areas of my life.
Some examples for me were music (I like singing but am no instrumentalist), my family, my relationship with my partner, travel and staying fit.
We talked through these key areas and from our discussion Neil and I jointly were able to determine which of these seemed to be in “good shape”; delivering satisfaction, enjoyment, fulfilment, stimulation and those which might need some further thought or exploration to achieve the above.
At the end of our session Neil explained the next stage was for me to take up “Project Management” of my way forward and research, explore, and try out various ideas to build an improved landscape for an enjoyable and fulfilling “retirement”. He encouraged me to be open minded, avoid giving up if a first attempt at something didn’t prove successful and assured me that if I ever needed to reach out for a further brainstorm or need a sounding board for ideas, he was there to support me.
Fast forward 3 months from our first meeting and I recently met with Neil to discuss my “progress”.
In this time I have joined an amateur band of lovely gents (around my age group) as a lead singer covering old rock and blues classics, have started to learn how to play the harmonica, have been carrying out various DIY jobs for my elderly parents, am looking to take a course in music theory, have been hitting the gym 2 to 3 times a week whilst also planning future holiday trips with my partner and friends. In addition, I have continued to regularly see my daughter and step son and started to return my gaze to further home improvements. Lastl,y I have secured a role as a professional Home sitter – a post with a well-established agency to take up periodic assignments to look after their client’s homes and pets whilst they are away on vacation.
I certainly feel I have taken a significant step forward and am feeling so much more positive about my situation and the way ahead. I recognise though that this is all a work in progress and I will only get out what I put in. Seems blindly obvious really but it’s easy to lose sight of what can be achieved with the right prompt (Neil!) and the devotion of a bit of time, effort and creativity.
I commend Neil for his approach, his support, his insight and want to thank him for the motivation and coaching he has provided in helping me on my way.
I think the key message here is it only takes a couple of hours of your time over a 3-month period to get yourself on track if your life/career/retirement/3rd age plan isn’t working. Please get in touch with neil@nvwsolutions.co.uk if you are a bit stuck or not feeling like you are in the right place. A big thank you to my coachee who will see that I have not made any changes whatsoever to his feedback
Is it Retirement or 3rd Age Coaching?
Following on from my previous Meaningful Moments newsletters I, with my coachees agreement, thought I would share with you, his experience and emotions. (Something us blokes very rarely open up on)
After 40 odd years running IT Support services within the Finance industry, I retired in 2019 at the age of 59. I had enjoyed a rewarding career but simply felt as though I had had enough. I had divorced 3 years earlier and had met a new partner and decided to “start afresh”.
I fully admit I had done little to no preparation for “retirement” and naively thought that simply keeping fit and perhaps taking up golf would fully occupy me and keep the grey cells active.
My partner, a little younger than myself, wasn’t yet ready for retirement but had employment that afforded flexible working hours, so it seemed the way forward looked bright and encouraging.
How foolish!
Timing wasn’t great as the nightmare of Covid rained down upon us kicking any real semblance of normality into touch for the best part of 3 years.
So along with millions of others the expectations of the near future had to be managed differently – alternative approaches to many aspects of day-to-day life having to be adopted.
However, as we came out of the worst of the dark days and had the opportunity to return to a better state it became clear to me that although I had a few “interests” – there appeared to be a significant void in my life – leaving me confused and frustrated as to what on earth to do with myself.
My partner and I had jointly purchased a new home together in early 2021 and that for some months provided a temporary sense of focus and enthusiasm for me as we progressively turned the new purchase into “our house” decorating and refurbishing room by room. However, as 2022 rolled around it hit me quite hard that I was ill prepared for the (hopefully) potential 20 to 30 years of non-working life ahead of me.
I am a regular gym goer but a shoulder injury has made for at least a while yet, the suspension of any further golf. I enjoy the cinema and regularly catch up on new releases, am fortunate enough to still have both my parents and regularly meet up with my daughter and my stepson from my previous marriage. But that felt like only 50% of my time was being occupied and I was drifting around looking for the missing elements to fill the gap. I (very) briefly considered returning to full time employment, but the passion had gone and the 24×7 nature of the managerial support roles I had performed had left me depleted. So, what should I do?
It was at this point I sought out Neil at NVW Solutions.
I wanted some guidance and advice from a professional with the life experience and maturity to assist me in the challenge of achieving a fulfilling and stimulating “Third Age” of my life.
At our initial “consultation” meeting I was encouraged by Neil’s pragmatic and amicable style in the discussion of my situation and potential options.
His methodology avoided prescriptive type solutions of “just do this, take up that as a hobby, join that type of club” directions.
Instead, we discussed my interests, passions, family circumstances and what essentially constituted the key focal areas of my life.
Some examples for me were music (I like singing but am no instrumentalist), my family, my relationship with my partner, travel and staying fit.
We talked through these key areas and from our discussion Neil and I jointly were able to determine which of these seemed to be in “good shape”; delivering satisfaction, enjoyment, fulfilment, stimulation and those which might need some further thought or exploration to achieve the above.
At the end of our session Neil explained the next stage was for me to take up “Project Management” of my way forward and research, explore, and try out various ideas to build an improved landscape for an enjoyable and fulfilling “retirement”. He encouraged me to be open minded, avoid giving up if a first attempt at something didn’t prove successful and assured me that if I ever needed to reach out for a further brainstorm or need a sounding board for ideas, he was there to support me.
Fast forward 3 months from our first meeting and I recently met with Neil to discuss my “progress”.
In this time I have joined an amateur band of lovely gents (around my age group) as a lead singer covering old rock and blues classics, have started to learn how to play the harmonica, have been carrying out various DIY jobs for my elderly parents, am looking to take a course in music theory, have been hitting the gym 2 to 3 times a week whilst also planning future holiday trips with my partner and friends. In addition, I have continued to regularly see my daughter and step son and started to return my gaze to further home improvements. Lastl,y I have secured a role as a professional Home sitter – a post with a well-established agency to take up periodic assignments to look after their client’s homes and pets whilst they are away on vacation.
I certainly feel I have taken a significant step forward and am feeling so much more positive about my situation and the way ahead. I recognise though that this is all a work in progress and I will only get out what I put in. Seems blindly obvious really but it’s easy to lose sight of what can be achieved with the right prompt (Neil!) and the devotion of a bit of time, effort and creativity.
I commend Neil for his approach, his support, his insight and want to thank him for the motivation and coaching he has provided in helping me on my way.
I think the key message here is it only takes a couple of hours of your time over a 3-month period to get yourself on track if your life/career/retirement/3rd age plan isn’t working. Please get in touch with neil@nvwsolutions.co.uk if you are a bit stuck or not feeling like you are in the right place. A big thank you to my coachee who will see that I have not made any changes whatsoever to his feedback
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